2008 was a banner year for Christmas gifts, as it turned out.

From Allie:

I've decided that I'm going to spend the money to ship this up to New York for the semester because I can't be without its presence in my life.

From Adena:

Finally I am in possession of the Dame's awesomely picture-centric autobiography.

And my friend Catalina gave me an awesome bowl with a cat face painted on it, which is in New York so I don't currently have a picture of it.

I always thought I was a bit tricky to shop for, but apparently anyone who's spent any significant amount of time with me realizes that I'm actually quite readable. Just judging from these three gifts, I can conclude that my friends perceive me as a cat person who enjoys Spanish language film, kitsch, and Helen Mirren to the extent that I would willingly own and display a coffee table book about her. This assessment is...startlingly accurate.

This movie looks truly promising:



Not to mention close to home. Privileged, but not-quite-privileged enough shithead college kid wants to go to Europe after graduation and is desperate to work anywhere to save up money? Why yes, that does sound familiar! The "I'm not even qualified for manual labor!" rings particularly true. In fact that whole job search mini-sequence essentially encapsulates my entire job search experience over the past two-three years. As it turns out, six months at a smoothie restaurant when I was a senior in high school, two combined months of random nepotistic data entry/office admin for my aunt's business, and two years of sporadic professional music blogging doesn't qualify you for a whole heck of a lot.

Higher quality trailer here.

Also, on the New York craigslist you get shit like this:

Walking Doggies LLC is looking for dog walkers who live on the Upper East Side to handle early morning, late night and weekend walks.

The schedule fluxuates based on need, and additional hours during the day are possible. Some walks are 8am and some are midnight. We also receive last minute requests for walks within a 2 hour timespan.

Please do not apply if you don't live on the Upper East Side.

This job can develop into a management position within a year.

No resumes!

No experience necessary, but you must be honest, reliable, trustworthy, respectful and you must love animals. You must be ready, willing and able to climb stairs, and to walk dogs in the rain, snow, freezing cold temperatures, boiling hot temperatures whether it's 8am or midnight.

To apply send us an email with your name, phone number, location and tell us why you want this position. Also tell us why you want to work with animals.

Before applying please read this ad again to make sure you understand our needs. Your location must be in your response. We will only consider Upper East Side applicants.

If hired you will be an employee with benefits!

I'd have this job in the bag if only...I lived on the Upper East Side. What the fuck?

This year we resurrected my favorite Christmas pastime:


There's a particularly inappropriate picture of me with a partially-deflated yard Santa, but I'll refrain from posting it for the sake of common decency.